Search: Starring Michael Clarke Duncan

The film goes for broke. No safety net. No apologies. Believing in itself.

So silly only a certified boring person would not enjoy.

Comicbooks are not about credibility, but what's going on here is far harder to accept than Clark Kent wearing funny underpants.

Anonymously directed, mechanical and unsurprising and is aimed at the indiscriminate lowest common denominator.

The film is as soft as butter. Sentimentality clogs the air ducts until it is difficult to breathe.

Fast, furious and Calvin Klein-ad slick.

Unnecessary plot layers descend from a great height, crushing any spark of adventure.

It hardly helps having Mark Wahlberg in the lead. As charismatic as seaweed, he creates a new milestone in minimalist acting. It's called not acting.

Just so you know, if you've seen Babe, or Animal Farm, there isn't any reason to see this. I'm surprised there haven't been infringement lawsuits threatened.

Defect Six: how do you make a movie about losers that isn’t a loser itself?

We've seen it all before, but the remarkable thing is that The Scorpion King does it well, and does it with such good humour that it is almost impossible to dislike.

I know it will mostly appeal to comic book fans like myself, but people should give it a chance, if only to experience its style.

This scatter-shot approach to comedy has all the sophistication of sticking a 12-bore into a crowd and pulling the trigger. Sure, you're going to hit everyone, but it's not very clever.

The humour is so basic, it doesn't need a spell check.

Lawrence just stands there, showing about as much emotional range as a Cabbage Patch doll.

Perry overplays the scared innocent to the point of no return, while Willis coasts in his support role.